Lose Control
by MethodicWays
Summary: Post 4x03. Caroline has been helping Stefan in his attempts to control his urges without Elena knowing. One-shot?
1. Chapter 1

She had been coming over every night it seemed. Even though Damon had taken over Elena's introduction to into vampirism, Stefan was there every step of the way, expressing his displeasure and fighting the urges that were becoming almost painful. And she was the only one who knew.

That night when she walked in the door, the bottle of scotch was nearly empty, the one next to it already drained. "Where's Elena?" Caroline asked sitting on the couch next to him.

"With him," Stefan practically spat out but when he looked at her, his blue eyes softened. "I couldn't go with them." He felt defeated and her heart broke looking at him. "The smell," he said, his voice cracking just a bit. "That's the worst part. It makes me think about how good it feels. To feel them in your arms." His face started to change and she knew how desperate he was. Caroline was almost afraid of the way he looked but she knew how Stefan felt. She'd felt that hunger, and the pleasure that came from giving into it. But she'd promised him; she'd promised that she wouldn't let him lose control.

Hesitantly, she lifted her wrist to her mouth and bit the flesh until blood welled up. She offered him her hand and he hesitated for only the briefest of seconds before reaching out. She almost threw her head back from the pleasure. The first time she'd offered herself to him, she'd been at a loss for what to do. He'd been ready to hunt and if he'd gone out, he would have killed someone. She wasn't Lexi. She wasn't strong enough to stop him. So she'd stopped him the only way she knew how. She'd slashed her wrist offering herself to him. Afterwards, he was guilty and ashamed but she'd been happy. She'd been there like she'd promised. And surprisingly, it had felt good. Not like those memories of Damon feeding from her. She could feel Stefan's need. And there was another sensation; joy. When he fed from her, he wasn't the Ripper. He was like a little puppy. Since he knew he couldn't hurt her, he was able to let go and just enjoy himself. Now she stroked his hair as he drank his fill and eventually he pulled away, licking his lips.

"Thank you," he said, politely.

"You don't need to keep thanking me, Stefan," she replied. "I made you a promise."

"When I asked for your help, I didn't mean to make you into my personal blood bag," Stefan said, pouring himself another drink.

Caroline tilted her head to the side with a smile. "I like to think of myself as an extremely willing donor." She held up her wrist which had already healed. "And look. All better." She took the drink Stefan offered and swallowed it down in one gulp. The moments after he fed were always awkward, filled with lots of unspoken feelings. He had tried to explain to her what it meant to share blood with another vampire but actually experiencing it over and over … well it was harder than she thought I would be. Not the actual act, that was wonderful. Almost _too_ good. Feeling Stefan's lips on her skin made her want more. The act was so intimate it was almost embarrassing. She poured another drink and lay her head on his shoulder.

"You're going to be okay, Stefan," she said. Stefan wrapped his arm around her and rested his cheek on her head. Who would have thought that Caroline would be the one helping him through this? He'd meant it when he said that she'd come into herself since becoming a vampire. She was no longer the neurotic, insecure cheerleader he'd first met when he arrived in Mystic Falls. Unconsciously, he ran his fingers through her blonde curls, his hand tracing a line down her arm.

Caroline sank deeper into his arms. There was something comforting about being around Stefan. He was solid and loyal and unlike many of the other men in her life, Stefan had never lied to her or tried to hurt her. And it was nice to return the favor. Sharing blood had brought them closer and even though she felt they were treading into dangerous territory, she didn't want it to end.

She looked up to find that he was already staring down at her. She breathed in slowly. The moment felt so fragile, like it could shatter at any moment. She wanted to reach up and touch his lips. She could remember how they felt on her wrist and just the thought made her skin tingle. Sometimes she thought about him at night when she was lying in bed but she pushed it away as just residual feelings from before; when she was just the prom queen who wanted to have the hot new guy. Stefan was Elena's now, but that was hard to remember when he was staring at her with that same hunger she'd seen earlier in his eyes.

"I should probably go before Damon and Elena get back," she said, pulling away. At the mention of Elena, Stefan seemed to snap back to his senses and he pulled away too, reaching for his glass of scotch.

Caroline stood up and grabbed her jacket from the back of the couch. "See you tomorrow," he called as she walked towards the door.

"Yeah tomorrow," she replied, without turning around. She'd didn't want him to see the disappointment on her face because she'd promised. She'd promised she wouldn't let him lose control.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: So I decided to continue cause I got some feedback and I was inspired a bit by 4x04 so I'm bringing in some elements of that, mostly Klaus. So this installment is mainly Klefan oriented but it circles back to Steroline (maybe some Klaroline implied in there). _

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Part 2: Deals with the Devil

"How long have you been standing there?" Stefan asked, without turning around. He would be angry at the fact that Klaus always seemed to be lurking but it was like a game with them, seeing how easily they could slip under each other's defenses. And there weren't many ways to keep Klaus out if he really wanted in but Stefan was anxious about what Klaus may have seen or overheard. His time with Caroline was private and the hybrid had invaded every other part of his life.

"Oh I got here just in time to see the lovely Caroline scamper away," Klaus said in his mocking way. "Why was she so eager to leave before anyone came home? Are we keeping more secrets Stefan?"

"No more than usual," Stefan said, smoothly. "What are you doing here, Klaus?"

"Nothing much, just checking up on you. Making sure you didn't spill any details about our little arrangement to the others."

"You know I want to find that cure just as much as you do."

"Of course you do Stefan, you're so kind-hearted, I'm sure you want to save everyone from this vampiric curse but which girl are you hoping to give the cure to. Elena or Caroline? You two looked very cozy on the couch."

'I thought you just got here."

"Did I say that?" Klaus replied, feigning innocence. "I'm so forgetful these days."

"Really?," said Stefan sarcastically.

"Yes," Klaus said, and within a second he had Stefan pinned against the wall, his hand at his throat. "And if you don't mind your tongue, I'll forget that we're supposed to be partners. You breathe a word to anyone, even Caroline, and I will rip your bloody head off and theirs too. One thing I haven't forgotten is how you stabbed me in the heart and if you think you can double-cross me again, you're sorely mistaken. Are we clear?"

Stefan struggled against Klaus' hold but he was no match for his strength and it was all he could do to eke out a nod. When Klaus let go of him he stood up straight pushing down his anger. "I thought we'd buried the hatchet, Klaus."

"There was a time when I thought we could be friends again but I've since moved on. You prefer your small, little life with Elena and I'll see that you get it as long as you don't stand in the way of what I want, Stefan."

"What exactly do you want Klaus?" Stefan said. He didn't know why but something about Klaus made Stefan want to push his buttons. Klaus was the ultimate keeper of secrets and there was always an ulterior motive. Sometimes Stefan thought if he could just figure out what motivated Klaus, he could also figure out a way to stop him.

"Don't worry about what I want, Stefan. Just keep Elena safe and all of your little friends out of my way and I'll make sure you get to live out the rest of your days just like a real boy. And you can grow old and wither away, right after you give Elena a bunch of kids so the Petrova line lives on." Klaus looked at him tauntingly. "That is what you still want isn't it?"

Stefan tried hard not to let the emotion show on his face but even he had to wonder if that was what he still wanted or if it was what Elena would want. She was becoming more and more used to doing things Damon's way. Reveling in the hunt and the blood. And unlike Stefan, she could control it. Klaus picked up on his hesitation and tilted his head to the side questioningly. "Or maybe it's Elena. Has the little Petrova taken to vampirism like our Katerina?" He smirked and it was all Stefan could do to stop himself from attacking. "Well no worries. Whether she wants it or not Elena will be human again. Like I said before I always thought you were the better option."

Klaus strode out of the boarding house as if he owned it and Stefan walked over to bar to pour another drink but he'd barely gotten bottle open before he was hurling it across the room. He could feel the frustration welling up in him. If he went along with what Klaus wanted, he and Elena could have the live they'd always said they wanted but what kind of life would it be? He could barely protect Elena or anyone from Klaus _now_ and even though she'd be human, Elena would be nothing but a hybrid making machine for Klaus. And lately he wasn't even sure if being human was what Elena wanted. There was so much Stefan was struggling with and Klaus was right about one thing, there was one person he did want to tell. Caroline.


End file.
